Have you ever seen the unrated version of The Sweetest Thing? The girls sing a song about penises and the chorus is "You're to big to fit in here, too big to fit in here!" I had John find it for me on the www. Ever since he uses that song for everything. If he's drinking a cup of coffee: "You're too hot to put in here" and refers to his mouth. This morning it was "You're too fat to fit in those, too fat to fit in those." and "My ass smells too bad to go in there, too bad to go in there."Ok, so anyway....Rita has her first ear infection and is on her first antibiotics. Yuck. Not happy about it! I take antibiotics about once every 4 years. I hate them and avoid them at all costs. She hasn't even been alive 10 months and she's on 'em. She is doing much better since she started on it yesterday. Her nose is clearing up and she can drink without choking. She is perkier and is eating much better. She weighed in at a hefty 20 lbs. 4 oz. I had my monthly massage yesterday. If I could afford more I would go in a heartbeat. I figure I'm lucky to get one a month. I made an appointment with the chiropractor there too. I was in desperate need of an adjustment. I haven't been adjusted in at least six months. After my massage I chatted with Dr. B and told him I was completely stressed out and in more pain than I had been in in years. He said "I know just what you need, follow me." I followed him into a small, semi-lit room. It smelled of herbs and dryer sheets. I laid face up on a table. He held his hands about 2-3 feet away from my legs and he said "You are full of negative energy and I'm going to give you acupuncture to release it. It will feel like a pressure cooker. All the steam will release out the top of your head." What was really weird is I could feel his energy touching my legs but he was a couple feet away. He put one needle in each foot, calf and forearm, two in each ear, one in my third eye and three in the top of my head. The needle in my left forearm was really cool. If I wiggled my thumb or index finger, the needle wobbled back and forth with the finger. At one point I got the giggles and thought to myself "this is better than any drug I've ever done." After about 30 minutes he came back and removed all the needles and swept all the negative energy off me and threw it in a garbage can! Then he adjusted me head to toe. I never had my feet adjusted before, that felt great. He also adjusted my neck better than any chiropractor I've EVER seen. I never did feel the pressure cooker effect but I felt so much better when I left there I would have given him any amount of money he asked for. I slept better last night than I have slept in months. When Rita woke me up with an outburst, I was able to fall right back to sleep and that never happens. I usually lay awake for an hour or so after she wakes me up! So there you have it, my first acupuncture experience. No, it didn't hurt. Yesterday I was singing "Evil Woman" by ELO and John said "That's what the words are? I thought it was "She is a woman!" We laughed and laughed. "You're too dumb to sing that song, too dumb to sing that song."

Conversation with my 5 year old neighbor

"Do you still have milk in your boobies?" he asked
"No." I replied.
"Why not?" he asked
"Because Rita drinks from a bottle now." I said holding back a laugh.
"Well not my Mom, she still has milk in her boobs for Sky."